


FtPverse April Fools 2015

by rarmaster



Series: FtPverse [9]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 14:12:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11381847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rarmaster/pseuds/rarmaster
Summary: [HONKS HORN] GET IN LOOSERS, WE GOTTA GO FIGHT DARKLESS





	FtPverse April Fools 2015

**Author's Note:**

> this is the best piece of work i've ever written

There was a loud honk of a car horn outside. Riku put down his book and glared out the window, wondering who _dared_ interrupt him when he was on the final chapter of _Time Saga: The Thirty-Second Age._ Namine was already running out the door to see what all the fuss was about. Riku glared a moment more then threw his book down, storming out to give the poor souls a piece of his mind.

Sora, along with Kairi and Aqua and Ven were all sitting in a dull-pink tricked-out convertible with _BADWAGON_ spray painted on the side over Sora’s crown symbol. All four of them were wearing sunglasses and bobbing their heads to the beat of some loud fist-pump and perfect-for-ass-kicking song.

Sora honked the horn again.

“GET IN LOSERS! WE’RE GONNA GO FIGHT DARKLESS.”

“YEAH SWEET!” Namine jumped right over the side of the car and into the interior, squeezing between Sora and Kairi.

“What!! Namine!!” Riku stared in shock.

Namine reached over Sora to honk the horn at him. She’d magically acquired sunglasses as well. “GET IN OR WE’RE LEAVING YOU BEHIND, _CHICKEN._ ”

Riku straightened and glared twice as hard. _Chicken? CHICKEN?!_ “No body calls ME chicken!!” he shouted, and he jumped into the back seat of the car, squeezing in between Aqua and Ven. _Time Saga_ would have to wait. Ven gave him two thumbs-up and a wide grin. Aqua looked over her sunglasses at him, doing nothing else but slowly bobbing her head to the music.

“LEEEESSSGO!” Sora called, revving the engine.

Ven leaned into the front seat. “YO, _SORA!_ ” he shouted over the music and the engine. “HOW WE GETTIN’ OUT OF HERE WITHOUT TEARIN UP ANY MORE OF THE ROAD?”

Sora grinned back at him. “WHERE WE’RE GOING WE WON’T NEED _ROADS!_ ” he laughed, then slammed a button on the console. The car took a shuddering lurch off the ground, and as it stabilized itself in the air, Sora hit another switch, and it sprouted wings. “HOLD ON!!!”

They took off at the speed of light. The wind blew their hair all dramatically, and they drove off, headbanging to their music and looking cool as fuck. Except Riku, who was pressed into his seat back and who had no sunglasses and who looked like the g-force might tear his skin off his face.

“There! The Darkless!” Kairi shouted, pointing. “EVERYONE!! INTO POSITIONS!!”

Sora summoned his Keyblade and hung it out over his side of the car. It cut through the Darkless as they past them. Aqua stood up in her seat, her Keyblade out, making explosions in the distance on the other side of the car and blowing holes in the Darkless ranks.

“Oh no!!” Namine leaned past Kairi and pointed ahead. “What is THAT!!”

Aqua turned directly to where Namine was pointing, then solemnly took off her sunglasses. “It can’t be…! _My old nemesis._ ”

“What’s his name?” Riku asked, looking up at her.

“Xehanort.”

Ven fainted into Riku’s lap.

Sora hastily fumbled for the brakes, and the car landed back on the ground with a few jumps and jolts. As the car came towards him, Xehanrot simply stopped it by putting his foot on the front bumper. From the sound of crunching metal, he dented it.

“ _HEY!_ I payed a lot of munny for this thing!!!” Sora shouted.

Aqua slowly slid her sunglasses back on her face. Her lips were drawn in a tight scowl. “I can’t believe you’re back,” she said, with a disdainful shake of her head. “I thought that sending you to the Fourth X Dimension twenty years ago would have taught you a lesson!!”

Xehanort smirked. “No, my dear old archnemesis, it did the exact opposite. It allowed me the time to gather…” He stopped for a dramatic pause that lasted a full 5 seconds. “ _An army._ NORT SQUAD! _ASSEMBLE._ ”

Suddenly he was flanked by 12 other people, all of them apparently Norts. Out of them, only six faces could be made out. Xemnas and Ansem, surprisingly, along with Braig, and Saix, and then…

“Roxas!” Kairi shouted, jumping to her feet. “You TRAITOR!!”

“Geeze, chill Kairi, it’s just a job.”

“That we don’t get paid for,” Braig laughed, nudging him. Roxas nodded solemnly, agreeing that that indeed did stink.

Sora was slowly rising to his feet, looking at the remaining recognizeable face. “No… It can’t be…” He took of his sunglasses, jaw dropping to the floor. “ _My Shadow…_ ”

Sora’s Shadow drew up to his full height, which wasn’t that tall, it was like, 5’5’’. Shorter than everyone but Namine. Anyway, he stared at Sora very seriously, and said: “I’m sorry Sora… I just had… a higher calling….”

Sora sniffed, holding back tears. “I- I expected horrible things from you, but nothing THIS horrible…”

“I’m so sorry, Sora,” Namine said, hiding her eyes with her hand. “I foresaw this… but I didn’t want to tell you. I… I knew that the truth would hurt you.”

A single tear rolled down Sora’s cheek. He nodded sagely. “No, don’t apologize… I understand…”

“What’s the plan?” Riku asked. He would have gotten to his feet had he been sure what to do with Ven. “What do we do!?”

“It’s alright.” Aqua patted him on the head. “I know how to deal with these guys.” She jumped into the air, landing on the hood of the car (without denting it). She stared Xehanort down and readied her Keyblade, power swirling around her. “SORA! REVERSE!”

“YOU GOT IT!”

Sora thrust the car into reverse and they rolled back far enough for Aqua to have a good shot. She pointed her Keyblade at the Norts, and then shot M E G A  F L A R E at them.

When the dust settled, there was no Norts left.

“MY HERO!!!” Kairi swooned, absolutely star-struck.

Aqua smiled over her shoulder back at them. “All in a day’s work…” she said, then she too, was gone, leaving them to ponder on her amazingness.


End file.
